Wooden Swords & Polished Kunai
by CarpeDiana
Summary: Aftermath shorts - the scenes behind the canon. Updating: Yoshiwara in Flames. (RE-UPLOADED!)
1. Yoshiwara in Flames Part One

**A/N** : My apologies. Something went wrong with uploading so I had deleted this story and tried it again - turns out that this site is rather slow and that in combination with my computer made everything even slower. My mistake, luckily all's well that ends well. Ignore (again) or enjoy (again), your choice.

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 **WOODEN SWORDS & POLISHED KUNAI**

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 **Yoshiwara in Flames Aftermath**

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"Listen; the city is waking up.

The living don't live to mourn the dead.

Our roads will never stop leading to rays of the next sunrise.

Even the hardest, loneliest and darkest days cannot stop time from healing our wounds.

The chains that bound our eternal night are broken.

Thanks to three samurai and our guardian the city of women is now free.

Thus my place is here - holding the hand of this little warrior.

I won't leave Seita's side for a man who's story has ended - not again.

That's why, my sister, I have a request.

His place is under the blazing sun.

Not here. Not with me.

I know that your hands are full but,

allow me to count on the strength of the Moon of Yoshiwara,

Tsukuyo."

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* * *

The work of the Courtesan of Death had only just begun.

The woman next to him thanked him with the promise to pay them back soon - she gave him a silent look when he said that his actions weren't thankworthy though he wouldn't decline the company of a good woman and some tea - and then left to help the woman on the roof.

The Sun of Yoshiwara had been brought there on request in order to give a dying man some peace. After the last threat had bade them farewell with a plastic smile a gentle hand closed the eyes of the broken man on her lap and a soft voice whispered an unheard farewell as she bowed her head. Silent minutes passed until the courtesan looked up and locked gazes with the understanding eyes of the Moon of Yoshiwara. Hinowa answered the unspoken question with a nod.

The wounded kunoichi was capable enough to carry the disabled courtesan to a rest place while at the same time giving orders to the few women of the Hyakka force who weren't gravely injured or death. She had already set the beginning of the reparations of the building in motion when she re-entered the palace and before leaving the hall where the fight had taken place someone was already put in charge of harboring the dead bodies.

Something deep, deep inside him recognized the look in her eyes when she mentioned those women because the years spent in blood were carved into his very soul and watched in silence as it knew about the cruelty of unwelcome - no matter how well-intended - words from an outsider. From now on they would be the ones to decide what they wanted to do with their city. Further interference might cause more damage than it would heal.

His two employees automatically walked over to him. He would have to severely interrogate them about those injuries, tomorrow. For now a good night's rest was probably the best medicine for their aching and throbbing bodies.

The three of them left. Automatically the two children looked over their shoulders, yet, he didn't.

She had everything under control.


	2. Yoshiwara in Flames Part Two

Two days later the phone rang.

His first instinct was throwing it across the room for interrupting his beautiful dream - with lots of XXX and YYY and his ZZZ - but since he was too poor to afford a new one he suppressed it. The scornful expressions his two employees would have send him while clicking their tongues in disappointment for wasting their already scarce money - one had to wonder who was working for who - had absolutely nothing to do with it. Nothing at all. Really.

 _...Believe me damn it!_

After almost rolling to his death because he was too lazy to stand up like a proper adult and had instead tried to balance on the back of the bank he finally managed to pick up the phone. The unexpected voice dispelled his drowsiness in an instant. In monotone tone she asked whether he was free and before he could answer that she was setting up the time and place to meet as if she expected him to be free anyway. Bitch.

"Oi lady. Lady! Wait a second, lady!"

"Hinowa has taken charge over tha formal stuff so I'll use tha' time ta do tha dirty parts. If ya can come here as soon as pos-what, Gintoki?"

"Listen here, lady. Even though you're sort of a woman despite the throwing-your-womanhood-away-thing by scarring your face and the fact that you women are now free to make your own choices this is still going too fast. Gin-san doesn't accept this! Never underestimate the importance of letting the poor guy wait in sexual frustration. That carefree attitude of you is begging for trouble. You're lucky I'm not some sex-deprived monster. Treasure your innocence like you treasure your money!"

"Tha hell are ya talkin' about?"

"What are _you_ talking about?!"

"We're hirin' ya fer a job."

"Huh?"

"Again, we're hirin' ya fer a job tha' needs ta be done."

"Oi, oi, what for avadakedavra are you trying to pull here? The Yorozuya Gin-chan won't just accept any job without knowing what we're being hired for. That last gym fight should have earned us the badges of your region already. My body still aches and right now I'm working on some well-deserved and proper rest. Ask someone else to do that job of yours. I'm busy."

"Ya sure about tha'?"

"Very sure. Alright, I can hear my dream calling from the couch so I'm hanging up. By-"

"It pays ya twenty thousand yen."

Lightning struck his mind and let it work faster than it had ever done before. The math was easy. His mouth was open before the woman finished her sentence.

" _I'll be there faster than you can take those words back_ -" and he ran off to his good old scooty-booty. (Don't tell anyone he called it that.)

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.

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In front of the gate of Yoshiwara the samurai impatiently waited for the elevator to arrive as the windy breeze finally got through his conscious and whispered to him that something fairly important might have been forgotten in the rush. He looked down.

His pink strawberry boxers glittered in the midday sun.


	3. Yoshiwara in Flames Part Three

Downstairs the kunoichi was waiting for him dressed in a black kimono complete with cancer stick and all.

A guard from the gate had probably warned her since the stone-cold woman already tossed him an outfit before he could explain the lack of proper clothing - lazy day - and turned around telling him to catch up. The blue colors of the yukata in his hands were a tint darker but overall it looked very similar to his own outfit.

Hurriedly he got dressed and followed after her while she hadn't even spared him one look. Vaguely he recalled the scene where the blonde had watched the three of them cross dressing as women with breasts even fuller than hers - _it was hard_ not _to notice that! Don't give me that look of utter contempt!_ \- when they first met and even back then she hadn't shown a reaction whatsoever. Internally he scoffed. That woman takes the fun out of all things.

"Where are ya employees?"

"Busy doing this and that. Ever since the fight they haven't shown up as much as usual. Shounen manga in its full overrated glory. Now-that-we-got-our-ass-kicked-we'll-get-stronger-for-the-next-time! kind of thing. Today Yorozuya Gin-chan exists solely of me, the main hero, since his sidekicks are too busy trying to improve their sidekick skills. Oh. Unless, of course, this happens to be a job for three. If you really need those brats I can _still_ drag them back from whatever they're doing _right now_ and-"

"Good."

"Good?"

"Tha thin' we're payin' ya tha' money for isn't fer kids ta see."

That news didn't surprise him as much as it should have as he had a bad premonition from the first moment he had seen her expression.

"So? What's this grand job that you're paying me that much money for?"

The woman checked his face - completely neutral - over her shoulder before answering.

"Hosen's body. We're not sure what ta do with it. Hinowa mentioned a place where he can forever enjoy tha sun but since we don't know any such places of tha surface we're payin' ya ta take us to a place like tha'."

If only having protagonist-like premonitions also served him when it came to gambling there would have been no need to do these kind of jobs.

"Right."

Her next words however were surprising.

"Findin' a place like tha' and takin' us there is what we're payin' ya fer. Buryin' him is our job."

"What? Only guiding you to such a place is all?"

She nodded as they both entered a building hidden away from the main street.

"Uh, remind me, why does that get me so much money again?"

"Consider it payment from all tha troubles we've caused ya. With tha money ya'll won' need ta accept any jobs fer two weeks. That's enough fer yer injuries ta heal right?"

"Sorry to disappoint but that money won't even last us for a week. You see, there's this hell of a gluttonous girl eating away all our precious money."

"Then wha' about forty?"

 _Holy Sadaharu Crap! Casual._ Be _casual._

"That could last us for ten days I guess. Maybe if I keep the brat away from her sukonbu addiction we could make it ten and a quarter."

 _Shiiiiit! The words flew out my mouth before I could stop them! Who am I kidding?! Forty thousand yen could last us a month! I can't admit now that a wave of greed had momentarily possessed me can I?! Calm down, Gin-san! Stay cool! Be like myself when I'm cool!_

"I see. And sixty thousand? Won' tha' be enough ta last ya- Gintoki, what are ya doin'?"

The sudden _thud_ had made the kunoichi turn around only to see the samurai lying on the floor.

"D-don't mind me, this isn't abnormal at all! I was just wondering what the world looked like from the ground. Empathy for insects and the like. Yup. Very normal. No-one who tripped over his own feet here. This is great! All these things I wouldn't normally notice - like the dust on the floor or the spider webs on the ceiling or the spots over there displaying interesting shapes. It has this whole gothic atmosphere right down to the T, as it only appears in the, dark, corners... is that... b-blood...? W-w-w-what's up with t-those obscure p-p-patterns? W-w-why hasn't anyone c-cleaned that up?! O-oi, Tsukuyo... W-what for s-shady b-building is t-t-this place?"

"Oh, those. Ya can ignore tha'. Tha housekeeper is on vacation."

"Ah. Of course. That explains it. _ahaha!_ When will she be back?"

"Ten years ago."

"Like hell she'll ever come back! That's a lost cause! Can't you guys take the hint?! Just find a new one!"

The lady didn't answer. Somehow her lack of reaction disturbed him more than a simple command to be quiet.

 _Pause. Breathe. Think about a private sweets paradise worth sixty thousand yen. Act._

"Eh, I mean... Yeah, cool decorations. Yup. So uhm, what were you saying again? About the money? Just to make sure that your vibrations didn't lose their way towards my hole - and by 'vibrations' I mean sound and by 'hole' I mean my concha - dismiss those dirty thoughts because that was absolutely not what I meant, you bad girl! The amount of unnecessary and energy-wasting problems misunderstandings cause on a daily basis _cough_ shoujo manga _cough_ is really something to be reckoned with during these kinds of verbal agreements."

"Sixty thousand yen. If ya stand up now and stop caressin' tha floor I'll give ya five thousand as a bonus."

"As you wish!"

Quickly he gathered his body parts from the floor as he motioned her to continue. For a fraction of a second she looked at him longer than strictly necessary before picking up her pace through the dark - and somehow getting darker with every step - building.

 _Keep your act together Gin-san! Don't let the walking money machi- I mean woman - don't let the_ woman _turn away at the last moment! Don't let her doubt Yorozuya Gin-chan! A little bit of obscure blood is nothing for a manly man in his youthful youth! Let's walk a bit closer to her - wait not_ that _close! okay, that's better - I know her kind, I've seen enough anime to recognize; cold on the outside but internally wishing for someone to rescue her. Poor girl, she should realize that being stubborn about refusing to show weakness won't do her any good. The world doesn't care whether you're brave or scared. It'll crush your soul either way. Well, if it's like that it can't be helped. I'll show her the strength of a dependable and old-fashioned samurai. Go Gin-san! Go Gin-san! GOOOO GI-_

Her voice interrupted his internal pep talk.

"We're here."

The Courtesan of Death opened the doors of an ominous looking room.


	4. Yoshiwara in Flames Part Four

What the hell?

As per arrangement he had taken her and the dead body - had he really tried killing that monstrous vessel of raw power? - to a place he once discovered by accident in a drunken state and as requested it bedded in sunlight and had a beautiful view on the ocean. Personally he wouldn't have chosen such a glistering view for a man like that but he didn't let that thought show in his expression. To each their own.

It had taken them half a day to transport the body. The sun was already going under when they finally arrived. Tsukuyo - together with a few members of the Hyakka - glanced at the spot he had taken them and with a nod mademoiselle had approved it. Of course she did. His talent for recognizing something beautiful had never failed him after all. That wasn't his problem.

The problem was that as soon as they had her approval the women on the cart got off and together with their kashira they took their shovels and started digging. Sure. Women could be strong and fierce. Rather he preferred them that way, but that didn't mean such a thing as manners didn't exist. He was a fool but not that much a fool. That blunt woman however had said him goodbye expecting him to turn on his heels like Jerry running away from Tom and let them continue digging as night fell.

...should he be offended?

Absently toying with the black umbrella of their former overlord the samurai sat there watching them struggle through the solid ground with a state of mind he hadn't encountered in a long time. For the first time in a while he was taken aback by the actions of someone else and half of him pondered whether he should say something whereas the other half of him countered in his ear with a lazy drawl that he should just leave.

None of the women were taken aback at all by the dirty work as they lacked any sense of vanity and he respected their independence - yet a part of him found it strangely regrettable that that aspect of being a woman had been taken from them sometime during those years in the dark.

What good had men to offer in the relationship if it weren't their physical advantages for taking out the trash and such? It sure wasn't cooking or taking care of the kids as by the time women had evolved into the new species of feminism they'd simply multitask their way through life. Goodbye opportunities for putting his d**** in their h**** except for making babies and that was like, what, at best two or three times in a lifetime?

Unaware of his internal conflict the women kept digging and ignored his presence.

 _Damn it._

With a growl he jumped off the cart and approached them. Only when he was standing above the hole they had dug so far the stern woman took the effort of looking up while her two subordinates couldn't care less about him. Observing the depth of their self-made grave he gathered that it hadn't gone as fast as it could have been. Though honestly they were deeper than he had given them credit for.

The protesting voice of one of her subordinates echoed in the night as he took the shovel out of her hands and started digging without further ado. After two seconds of piercing eyes burning a hole in his back he could feel the kunoichi decide that making a fuss about it wouldn't be worth the trouble. Smart choice. She gave her subordinate the order to ready the body and her other subordinate to keep digging. Thus they dug.

Her perceptiveness and ability to make quick decisions were pretty refreshing after being around for a hundred and forty eight episodes with those gorilla-slash-stalker-slash-old-hag creatures. Not that anyone would ever hear him say that out loud of course. It wasn't so much his manly pride as it was his mortal fear of never being found alive again.

The first and last part both.


	5. Yoshiwara in Flames Part Five

A/N: This chapter has been slightly revised.

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 _Incomprehensible creatures._

He kept his expression neutral as he walked towards the waiting, smoking figure. She looked up when she heard his steps.

"Your subordinates?"

"I told 'em ta leave already and take tha cart with 'em as I would wait fer yer conversation with tha father-man ta end."

While walking towards the Guardian of Yoshiwara he tried to see the things underlying that poker-face of hers that had made her decide to wait for him instead of returning as soon as possible with her two subordinates to the city that probably still needed her help. The woman just stared back until he gave up.

He rubbed the back of his head with his right hand as he sighed.

"You should have warned me that you were the kind of woman to eavesdrop on private conversations. Those kind of women are the worst."

"Rest easy. I didn't listen ta a word ya were talkin' about."

Right. How foolish of him. For a moment he had forgotten that she was the kind of woman to preserve a stranger's pride by taking the blame on herself.

"Ya were too far away fer me ta hear."

He turned away so she couldn't see his eyebrow twitching.


	6. Yoshiwara in Flames Part Six

The cost that comes with being the protagonist of a shounen manga shouldn't be underestimated.

Stuck between annoyance and amusement he rode the way back to Edo with an expression that hadn't quite figured out which emotion was stronger. The nicotine-addict sat on the back of his tiny scooter - he could feel her body warmth and honestly it was off-putting since he hadn't been near a woman in such a long time - with her legs at one side. Despite claiming to have thrown away her womanhood she had those kind of habits.

After leaving Hosen's grave earlier they had found themselves staring at his scooter wondering what to do next since her subordinates had taken the old-fashioned wooden cart and both rented horses. After a short silence Tsukuyo had announced that on second thought she would rather walk back and that he should go ahead. Of course he couldn't let that slide - curse the gender inequality that would convict him an intolerable jerk if he didn't - and before she could move away he had put the helmet on her head and pushed her on the back.

Even now he could feel her aura of discomfort and if she wasn't dependent on his already questionable driving skills no doubt that his back would have acted as a pincushion by now with those shiny kunai of hers just to deal with that feeling. Part of him wondered where she hid all those deadly weapons and why he never saw them coming. Meanwhile the other part noted that since the ice queen hadn't taken any effort to keep herself steady he had to ride much slower than usual.

Taking it all under consideration he was fairly sure that annoyance was winning his internal competition.

Around noon the towers and apartments and buildings of Edo doomed up in the distance. The man looked over his shoulder to get the attention of the smoking woman and he answered her questioning gaze with a nod towards his city. The whole ride back they had been silent and he didn't really feel like breaking that silence. The hint of a frown appeared on her forehead as she looked up at the chaotic infrastructure of the busy city from afar.

There.

Her smoking hand paused mid-way to her mouth and he got the impression that she worked very hard to keep her expression as neutral as possible. His suspicion was confirmed with a hollow feeling. The kunoichi hadn't been outside Yoshiwara ever since she was a child. On the way to the grave they had taken an extremely long detour because it was foolish to walk through the city with a dead body. This was her first time seeing the main city of the surface.

The woman probably felt his gaze because after a few minutes of getting closer and closer to the city she directed hers at him. In the short moment their eyes met he drowned in those amethyst-colored orbs which communicated nothing else than the ferocious emotions underneath that unmoving mask of hers and he was allowed to see a glimpse of the raw beauty she usually kept locked away.

The unexpected intimacy hit him with the force of a moving truck and he will never admit it out loud but he was glad at least someone witnessed the honest expression which she had allowed herself this single time without restraint. Why the warrior had chosen to shed her mask at that moment was a mystery to him - women were strange creatures - yet the question was irrelevant; he was but a prisoner of the storms raging in her eyes that captivated him whole.

Later he would pretend to have forgotten the exchange ever happened while secretly savoring the memory in a corner of his mind hidden away like the forbidden fruit of Eden.

The connection broke the second the woman's head changed direction as she looked at something in front of them and he saw her pupils widen but before he could turn his head his mind already went black as the screeching truck hit him.

.

.

.

Fortunately for him Jen-chan had decided to show him mercy because his injuries were really not that impressive.

The apology from the drunk chauffeur was entirely ignored as well as the suggestion to go to the hospital since he got a secret phobia for needles.

After being forcefully inspected by the lady for major injuries - bitch ignoring his exclamations of being absolutely fine - the white-haired man threw her an 'I told you so'-grin and walked to his trusty old bike where he saw with relief that it was still operable. Her stern expression was back in full force and if it weren't for the image of those eyes still burning in the back of his mind he would never have guessed what she was hiding behind her cold exterior.

It took a full minute before his attack of - hopefully - charming smiles finally worked and the kunoichi reluctantly returned to her seat. Somehow he was in one of those kind of moods where he didn't even feel like protesting when the woman put the helmet she was supposed to wear stoically on his head with the comment that if he didn't accept it she would start walking. He put his foot on the pedal and just like that they continued as if the interruption never happened.

The chauffeur watched in bafflement how the man and the woman resumed their road to the city without looking back once.


	7. Yoshiwara in Flames Part Seven

A/N: Apologies for the late update. I've been having trouble with the writing style I chose for this story. As you have noticed some chapters are without any dialogue at all and simple describing their interactions. I did that because it needed to have the serious, heavy atmosphere from defeating Housen, and to remember the losses of that fight, and whenever Gintoki opened his mouth he started talking random shit. I'm regretting that decision now, but oh well, let's see where this will go.

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Smoothly he maneuvered through the busy city while the Leader of the Hyakka on the back of his scooter was polluting the already polluted city air with that pipe of hers. Their silence wasn't a bad thing. Until the samurai noticed something in the corner of his eyes, that is. On impulse he turned around - a surprisingly delicate hand grabbing his yukata in reflex - and parked his scooter in front of a cafe.

He got off, took the key out of the lock, walked to the cafe, opened the door and gestured at his passenger who had watched him in perfect silence who didn't make any indication to follow him.

The samurai rolled his eyes and told her to enter while two passing high school girls threw them strange expressions and started giggling and she frowned.

"This ain't no Yoshiwara."

You must be new here, Sherlock.

"Damn right this ain't a place full of heaven's dreadful creations. This is what citizens of the surface call _the_ cafe. You may not have had those in that city of yours but you should know about them right? All you're required to do here is ordering parfaits and drinking lots of coffee or tea and ordering desserts and parfaits and-"

Her hand rose to stop his explanation.

"What, Tsukuyo?"

Meanwhile his hand was still holding the open door.

"Weren't ya gonna drop me off in Yoshiwara so I can pay ya tha money?"

"I still am. I just felt like taking a break."

For the second time that day they locked gazes and although the kunoichi hadn't uttered one word her eyes pierced through his facade.

" _Fine._ There's this small errand I just realized I have to run so I figured that it wouldn't hurt to rest for a moment. We have been up all night after all. Even people like you should eat once in a while and this will kill two birds with one stone - nothing personal against birds; just a figure of speech of the surface."

"..."

"You know what birds are right?"

"I spent my whole youth livin' under tha ground, Gintoki. Not under a rock."

"Hmpf. Guess you wouldn't have looked the way you do if you were related to Patrick Star."

The kunoichi simply stared at him with cold eyes. The samurai sighed, made a mental note that humor wasn't her thing, gave up, and asked his question again.

"Well, Yue? Already feel like you've abused my honorable scarred self enough as it is without making my alter ego hold the door for ten minutes?"

A second passed and another second passed and _another_ second passed and _finally_ she moved.

"I can open tha doors myself, Gintoki."

His expression didn't waver.

"No doubt that you can."

Tsukuyo gave him the same look as those girls earlier - in Tsukuyo-style expressed through her cold attitude - while she passed him and entered the cafe.

Enjoying the new-found freedom of his sleeping arm he followed after her into _Café Maid Latte_.


End file.
